21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: IMG-20231021-WA0029.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: IMG-20231021-WA0030.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: IMG-20231021-WA0025.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: IMG-20231021-WA0031.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: Just got these
21/10/2023, 21:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sorry I have Alex on at me at the moment
21/10/2023, 21:46 - Cat: Our neighbour is grazing her sheep on our land now and she sends me photos sometimes
21/10/2023, 21:49 - 1 Fabian Williams: The one from behind who bought the big house on hill?
21/10/2023, 21:50 - Cat: No the one who own that little land next to mine without house that I wanted to buy
21/10/2023, 21:50 - Cat: Seems she is now farming it herself, but she doesn't have much land
21/10/2023, 21:50 - Cat: She asked me what I want in return and I said, just a bottle of olive oil and if I ever move back I want 2 sheep from her flock. She said ok
21/10/2023, 21:52 - 1 Fabian Williams: You just need to put your mind to it. If the people who do know what they are doing aren't explaining it very well just say "listen, to you this might be easy but my experience is in other areas, explain it to me like I'm a retard then once I've got it I'll be better at it than you in 6 months, and you won't all think I'm slow as shit" lol
21/10/2023, 21:53 - 1 Fabian Williams: I still have crippling anxiety, this whole Alex break up thing isn't helping though. I can see why you ghost
21/10/2023, 21:54 - Cat: U know David was worried that I leave to Portugal and break his heart. He doesn't have a record but he said he wouldn't wanna live there as he can't work. Now I'm already thinking about the future with you, how to get u to retire with me there. Will ur record ever expire? Can we do marriage visa I don't remember
21/10/2023, 21:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: I still need to pass the DBS. After the police found that knife in trentham over Christmas that's not helped
21/10/2023, 21:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: I think it stays on like 20-30 years
21/10/2023, 21:55 - Cat: Yea, so about the infj. He was also in Liverpool btw
21/10/2023, 21:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm worried you'll do the same <This message was edited>
21/10/2023, 21:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: We should introduce them
21/10/2023, 21:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 21:57 - Cat: He wrote a really long message to me explaining that he really likes me and the sex is great, bla bla but he wants to focus on his business and doesn't want to prevent me from finding a  life partner. I was pissed off but never messaged him again. I met you 3 weeks later and secretly thanked him for his judgement
21/10/2023, 21:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: The mechanic?
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: Noooo the male nurse
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: The Spanish who was into bondage
21/10/2023, 21:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Oh, fucking Dave's...... Everywhere
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: Before we met
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: I am trying to remember hsi name now lol
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: Jorge
21/10/2023, 21:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ah right
21/10/2023, 21:58 - Cat: But pronounced spanish
21/10/2023, 21:59 - Cat: Khorje
21/10/2023, 22:00 - Cat: She won't understand now, u re older and understand emotions better. Give it time, she will know soon some day what real love feels like
21/10/2023, 22:00 - Cat: And everyone deserves a partner who really love them
21/10/2023, 22:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: Fucking sound 👌
21/10/2023, 22:01 - Cat: I told dave the same. If we stay together I have no reason to go and live alone on a farm, why the fuck would I do that
21/10/2023, 22:02 - Cat: He still didn't trust me, but then we barely knew each other and looking at the last 2 days, he was right not to trust me
21/10/2023, 22:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: She's glad I didn't just ghost her.
21/10/2023, 22:02 - Cat: Lol
21/10/2023, 22:02 - Cat: I'm yet to let anyone know
21/10/2023, 22:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: You do you 🤷
21/10/2023, 22:03 - Cat: I haven't said anything
21/10/2023, 22:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: Mechanic Dave?
21/10/2023, 22:03 - Cat: Yea
21/10/2023, 22:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: Well you were going on loads of dates all over Congleton 😛
21/10/2023, 22:04 - Cat: Noooo
21/10/2023, 22:05 - Cat: I went for one drunk with David mechanic, then that continued for 2 months
21/10/2023, 22:05 - Cat: Then we ended it few times then started again, kinda fucked up
21/10/2023, 22:05 - 1 Fabian Williams: Oh I thought you'd had a few first dates around Congleton that didn't materialise into anything
21/10/2023, 22:06 - Cat: In between David, but didn't sleep with anyone else
21/10/2023, 22:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sounds familiar
21/10/2023, 22:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ah right ok
21/10/2023, 22:06 - Cat: Always went back with him, cuz I don't like change
21/10/2023, 22:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
21/10/2023, 22:07 - Cat: But it was hard work communicating with istp
21/10/2023, 22:07 - Cat: Totally different world view and it level
21/10/2023, 22:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: I believe you lol
21/10/2023, 22:07 - Cat: Iq level
21/10/2023, 22:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: More than 100? :-(
21/10/2023, 22:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: 😂
21/10/2023, 22:08 - Cat: I don't actually know
21/10/2023, 22:08 - Cat: He said he thought he had 80 but he was very modest in general I thought he was putting himself down
21/10/2023, 22:09 - Cat: Always said it as too good for him
21/10/2023, 22:09 - Cat: Said I was too good for him
21/10/2023, 22:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: You're dead sexy
21/10/2023, 22:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 22:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sorry
21/10/2023, 22:10 - Cat: Lol, he said he never dated anyone in my league before
21/10/2023, 22:10 - Cat: Looool
21/10/2023, 22:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: He seems decent to be fair
21/10/2023, 22:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: I concur
21/10/2023, 22:10 - Cat: He was. But that's not everything.
21/10/2023, 22:11 - Cat: I wouldn't date a player
21/10/2023, 22:11 - Cat: Way to scared of stds
21/10/2023, 22:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: Understandable. I was always good at getting check out after an encounter 🤷
21/10/2023, 22:12 - Cat: Yea, I can't believe this happened last nigt
21/10/2023, 22:12 - Cat: I should have known
21/10/2023, 22:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: When I met you I swear you said you'd never had a test 😛
21/10/2023, 22:12 - Cat: We can never stay away from each other
21/10/2023, 22:12 - Cat: I didnt
21/10/2023, 22:13 - Cat: I also never had a rebound before
21/10/2023, 22:13 - Cat: Never let anyone lick me whom I don't love, just for my own pleasure
21/10/2023, 22:13 - Cat: Those are all firsts
21/10/2023, 22:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: You led a sheltered life🤷
21/10/2023, 22:13 - Cat: I also never slept with an ex before
21/10/2023, 22:13 - Cat: Too much change for my little autistic brain
21/10/2023, 22:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: Happy to be another first
21/10/2023, 22:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sounded like you needed to branch out a bit and live a little. Sometimes that's what it takes for us to realise what we really want
21/10/2023, 22:14 - Cat: I would give anything to just go back to being engaged to the man I love more than anything in this world and lead a sheltered life free of stds and heart break
21/10/2023, 22:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
21/10/2023, 22:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: Baby steps ❤️
21/10/2023, 22:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231021-WA0034.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 22:20 - Cat: I can't say I needed it. I tried to find a new boyfriend and u know u have a dirty hands fetish, and he seemed committed long term. As soon as I read his test result I knew it would be a challenging relationship but we had rhe weed and the dogs in common so I tried
21/10/2023, 22:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too 🤷. All it did was cause more hurt to someone else in my case.
21/10/2023, 22:23 - 1 Fabian Williams: I feel like I did the right thing, and I feel slightly less anxious
21/10/2023, 22:23 - 1 Fabian Williams: Not much but a little
21/10/2023, 22:24 - Cat: Unless u plan to start a life with Alex u done the right thing
21/10/2023, 22:24 - 1 Fabian Williams: Stomach still churning.
21/10/2023, 22:24 - Cat: I always belive in ending it as soon as u realise it's not gonna work. That's what I did wirh David and its also what I told Shane many times
21/10/2023, 22:24 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah I know. It's hard to do this though
21/10/2023, 22:25 - Cat: Cuz he was messing someone about for a while when he didn't feel anything
21/10/2023, 22:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: High empathy
21/10/2023, 22:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me I mean
21/10/2023, 22:25 - Cat: She said herself. She won't stick around for long
21/10/2023, 22:26 - Cat: U re clearly not soul mates, let her find the guy who will worship her
21/10/2023, 22:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's irrelevant. If nothing pans out with us I'll still be in love with you.
21/10/2023, 22:26 - Cat: She deserves that
21/10/2023, 22:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: She does
21/10/2023, 22:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: Nope and yes
21/10/2023, 22:27 - Cat: Appearance 70% of non autistic are in relationships vs 50% of autisticd
21/10/2023, 22:27 - Cat: It'd normal for normal people to date
21/10/2023, 22:27 - Cat: Even ugly ones, every pot has a lid
21/10/2023, 22:27 - 1 Fabian Williams: Can you rephrase that please <This message was edited>
21/10/2023, 22:28 - Cat: 70% of neurological people are in relationships
21/10/2023, 22:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: That's quite high right?
21/10/2023, 22:28 - Cat: That's a high number I thought there were more loners
21/10/2023, 22:29 - Cat: Yes. People date, it's a natural instinct
21/10/2023, 22:29 - Cat: Alex and dave, and the other David, they will all find someone ina few weeks
21/10/2023, 22:29 - 1 Fabian Williams: But only 50% autistic people date?
21/10/2023, 22:29 - Cat: Normal people don't stay alone for long
21/10/2023, 22:29 - Cat: Yes correct
21/10/2023, 22:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: I wouldn't know. I'm not normal, nor are most of the people I know
21/10/2023, 22:30 - Cat: Yea I was surprised too
21/10/2023, 22:31 - Cat: Tbf David did say he doesn't mind being alone and he doesn't have enough time for his dog and groceries as it stands
21/10/2023, 22:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: Or maybe they are and everyone is just a fucking Trainwreck 😂
21/10/2023, 22:31 - Cat: He will probably stay alone and be happy
21/10/2023, 22:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah maybe
21/10/2023, 22:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: When you told Lee what did you say?
21/10/2023, 22:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: Just curious
21/10/2023, 22:32 - Cat: The other David will be more hurt. But I don't feel bad. Cuz we didn't even kiss
21/10/2023, 22:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: And worried about your ring ending up in a skip.
21/10/2023, 22:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: You thought he was gonna go mad or cry or something
21/10/2023, 22:33 - Cat: Lee yes
21/10/2023, 22:34 - Cat: He is still trying to prevent me from making the mistake of my life
21/10/2023, 22:34 - Cat: I know he genuinely cares about me and wants to see me happy
21/10/2023, 22:35 - Cat: He also knows and is sad about the fact that you can do that and no matter how hard he tries, he cant
21/10/2023, 22:35 - Cat: I'm sorry for that for him
21/10/2023, 22:35 - Cat: I love him as a mate
21/10/2023, 22:36 - Cat: I am scared of telling him and losing him
21/10/2023, 22:38 - Cat: He knows how much pain u ve caused me
21/10/2023, 22:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too in what limited capacity I can regarding him. I always pitied him.
21/10/2023, 22:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Despite my animosity
21/10/2023, 22:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: So have you told him or have you just said you're thinking about it? Not being very clear sorry
21/10/2023, 22:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: That sounds like you told him
21/10/2023, 22:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: That doesn't lol
21/10/2023, 22:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm confused lol
21/10/2023, 22:40 - Cat: I'm not a slut. If we date again exclusively I can't ve friends with lee
21/10/2023, 22:40 - Cat: He knows we met
21/10/2023, 22:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: Right gotcha. But no details really
21/10/2023, 22:40 - Cat: He even said I could get away with having one last sexual encounter with my ex and get away with it
21/10/2023, 22:41 - Cat: So I asked him
21/10/2023, 22:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Oh the whole one last time thing. That more if you're not still hopelessly in love right?
21/10/2023, 22:41 - Cat: So that's a thing?
21/10/2023, 22:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: He's reaching there 😂.
21/10/2023, 22:41 - Cat: I swear I didn't know that's a thing
21/10/2023, 22:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: He's trying though
21/10/2023, 22:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 22:42 - Cat: So he basically suggested to me I fuck u one last time just to know its over
21/10/2023, 22:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: Really, I shouldn't be surprised
21/10/2023, 22:42 - Cat: But then he took it back and said its NOT a thing to fuck ur ex
21/10/2023, 22:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: It doesn't feel very over to me. It felt over till then if anything 😂
21/10/2023, 22:42 - Cat: See, he always lies to me
21/10/2023, 22:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: It really is
21/10/2023, 22:43 - 1 Fabian Williams: He just bottled it. There'd be a chance of the one last time thing working if we weren't us.😂🤷
21/10/2023, 22:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: I think he realised that then tried to back peddle
21/10/2023, 22:44 - Cat: Yea. He always does that
21/10/2023, 22:44 - Cat: Always contradicts himself
21/10/2023, 22:44 - Cat: And I call him out on it
21/10/2023, 22:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231021-WA0036.jpg (file attached)
21/10/2023, 22:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: Go science! 👌
21/10/2023, 22:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 22:45 - Cat: So we could technically treat this as a final sex with the ex encounter
21/10/2023, 22:45 - Cat: Loooòl
21/10/2023, 22:45 - Cat: I want that link
21/10/2023, 22:45 - Cat: Really I didn't know that's a thing at all
21/10/2023, 22:46 - Cat: I would have always assumed that if u want to sleep with me it's because u still love me ..... so fucking naive
21/10/2023, 22:47 - Cat: I wouldn't wanna sleep with u just to exchange stds and bring up lots of repressed hurt feelings. What's fun about that?
21/10/2023, 22:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article220235715.html
21/10/2023, 22:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'd rather not
21/10/2023, 22:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: I think that's the point of it, to help you realise your feelings for them are gone.
21/10/2023, 22:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: The one last time thing I mean
21/10/2023, 22:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: Of course that's it.
21/10/2023, 22:49 - 1 Fabian Williams: I do still love you and if the past 2 days hasn't shown that I don't know what will.
21/10/2023, 22:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: Are you mad at me? Did you take something the wrong way?
21/10/2023, 22:50 - Cat: No
21/10/2023, 22:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: Oh ok
21/10/2023, 22:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: X
21/10/2023, 22:50 - Cat: Not at all
21/10/2023, 22:51 - Cat: I can see how u could read it that way, sorry to make u more anxious
21/10/2023, 22:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's ok ❤️
21/10/2023, 22:51 - Cat: I'm hurt from what happened between us
21/10/2023, 22:51 - Cat: I was never mad
21/10/2023, 22:51 - Cat: I'm crying as I write this
21/10/2023, 22:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: I was mad initially for the first week or two but after that just hollow.
21/10/2023, 22:52 - Cat: I loved u so so much. I will never get over us
21/10/2023, 22:52 - Cat: The article followed people 4 months post breakup
21/10/2023, 22:53 - Cat: They moved on, regardless of whether they had sex or not
21/10/2023, 22:53 - Cat: But those people consensually ended the relationship
21/10/2023, 22:53 - Cat: Our breakup was chaos and mental illness and house move stress and 3 months forced sepaeation
21/10/2023, 22:54 - Cat: Nothing about that was normal
21/10/2023, 22:54 - 1 Fabian Williams: The one last time thing isn't super common though, think I've only done it once or twice.
21/10/2023, 22:54 - Cat: And my feelings I locked away in a box
21/10/2023, 22:54 - Cat: 4 months on they are exactly the same they were the day u left
21/10/2023, 22:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: Head in the sand, same 🤷
21/10/2023, 22:55 - Cat: I hate ur actions and the hurtful words
21/10/2023, 22:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's not super relevant, I just liked the headline
21/10/2023, 22:55 - Cat: But I can never hate you
21/10/2023, 22:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yep
21/10/2023, 22:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: Quite the opposite ❤️
21/10/2023, 22:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: From me at least
21/10/2023, 22:56 - Cat: It's my autism mostly om sure
21/10/2023, 22:56 - Cat: The assessment said I have trouble letting go
21/10/2023, 22:56 - Cat: My feelings don't change easily
21/10/2023, 22:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Nor mine.
21/10/2023, 22:57 - Cat: I ve loved the same food for 30 years and I still eat it every day
21/10/2023, 22:57 - Cat: Lol, u go from love to hate in  seconds
21/10/2023, 22:57 - Cat: And back again
21/10/2023, 22:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm sure I'll love you for the next 30 years and eat you every day 😉.
21/10/2023, 22:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol sorry
21/10/2023, 22:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Anger and hate are different
21/10/2023, 22:58 - Cat: Me too
21/10/2023, 22:58 - Cat: U said u hate me
21/10/2023, 22:58 - Cat: I know u re emotional, but I take things literally
21/10/2023, 22:58 - Cat: It really hurt me so much
21/10/2023, 22:58 - Cat: I didn't hate u
21/10/2023, 22:59 - Cat: Never have
21/10/2023, 22:59 - Cat: Never will
21/10/2023, 22:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: In the heat if the moment when I was trying to leave and you were stopping me I would have said anything it took to get out of that situation, that was how much it was upsetting me.
21/10/2023, 22:59 - Cat: My feelings are pure and innocent
21/10/2023, 22:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm sorry for that
21/10/2023, 23:00 - Cat: And I cannot handle sudden change
21/10/2023, 23:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: When I was sat in jail and for the first week after I left I did
21/10/2023, 23:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: It soon passed to hollowness though
21/10/2023, 23:01 - 1 Fabian Williams: And one Thursday afternoon message and it's back to love.
21/10/2023, 23:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: God I've missed you.
21/10/2023, 23:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know, we should start slow. I'll try get into therapy asap.
21/10/2023, 23:05 - Cat: I still loved u when I left the u took ur things. And I wore ur ring. I was grateful for the 3 months break, I knew we needed it. But I never imagined we'd ever break up
21/10/2023, 23:06 - Cat: Sorry if I was naive
21/10/2023, 23:06 - Cat: But I know u love me
21/10/2023, 23:06 - Cat: I see it in ur eyes and a million little moments and actions and things u say, things u remember
21/10/2023, 23:06 - Cat: And i know I love you
21/10/2023, 23:10 - Cat: But then I saw the video
21/10/2023, 23:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: I was livid when you said you'd thrown the ring away
21/10/2023, 23:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: More than anything else.
21/10/2023, 23:11 - Cat: And I thought I was wrong about u
21/10/2023, 23:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: Musti didn't help my anger following me around with that camera looking all smug.
21/10/2023, 23:11 - Cat: That u used me and discarded me and threatened me with social services
21/10/2023, 23:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: When I turned up the first thing I did was try to protect your carpet.
21/10/2023, 23:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: My anger increased as I saw how my stuff had been thrown in a pile. Especially the TV which I didn't want you to throw the box away for
21/10/2023, 23:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: I did not use you, all I ever wanted was to make you happy, I failed.
21/10/2023, 23:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: Small things that added up to me losing it.
21/10/2023, 23:14 - Cat: Was just gonna say
21/10/2023, 23:14 - Cat: Musti packed ur things
21/10/2023, 23:15 - Cat: I was locked up remember
21/10/2023, 23:15 - Cat: I packed some of it
21/10/2023, 23:15 - Cat: To the same standard that I would pack my own things
21/10/2023, 23:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: He seemed very happy with himself.
21/10/2023, 23:15 - Cat: No don't blame him
21/10/2023, 23:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: You didn't see his face.
21/10/2023, 23:16 - Cat: I probably packed rhe things that pissed u off
21/10/2023, 23:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: He was loving it Catherine.
21/10/2023, 23:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: He's a lot like his dad. I'm sorry
21/10/2023, 23:16 - Cat: But I thought I was being kind packing ur things, even thr things I bought u, I even gave u lots of bags for lige
21/10/2023, 23:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: From how you've described him
21/10/2023, 23:16 - Cat: Life
21/10/2023, 23:17 - Cat: Did not intend to wind u up
21/10/2023, 23:17 - Cat: Felt very hurt with ur reaction
21/10/2023, 23:17 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you for trying then. But it failed sorry. I felt offended
21/10/2023, 23:17 - Cat: U also made a dent in ky brand new fridge
21/10/2023, 23:17 - Cat: And poured oil in my toaster when u emtpited the fryer
21/10/2023, 23:17 - 1 Fabian Williams: I have a few in mine from both moves
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: IT caught fire when ahmad used it the next day
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: I didn't even mention it
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: 400 quid fridge
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: First day
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: U get wound up about little things
21/10/2023, 23:18 - 1 Fabian Williams: I didn't. I threw it in the sink.
21/10/2023, 23:18 - Cat: I forgive so much without even mentioning it
21/10/2023, 23:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: I was going to throw it up the walls when I saw it hidden away under some clothes
21/10/2023, 23:19 - Cat: I still have the toaster and itd kn viseo
21/10/2023, 23:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: The oil. Went in the sink.
21/10/2023, 23:19 - Cat: Oil went everywhere
21/10/2023, 23:19 - Cat: I can proof it if u don't believe me
21/10/2023, 23:19 - Cat: U did not carefully put it in the sink
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: I would have never even mentioned it again
21/10/2023, 23:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: No I didn't, so Ok maybe some did, It should have been emptied before packing
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: That's the difference between us
21/10/2023, 23:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm sorry the toaster caught fire
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: Nobody had time for that
21/10/2023, 23:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's loose fucking chip fat oil there was no excuse
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: I was in custody
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: Plz don't remind me
21/10/2023, 23:20 - Cat: I am not over that and never will be
21/10/2023, 23:21 - Cat: U gotta drop this or we start fighting again
21/10/2023, 23:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: Musti would have known he's not stupid.
21/10/2023, 23:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ok
21/10/2023, 23:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ok
21/10/2023, 23:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you.
21/10/2023, 23:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: We both did things that really wound the other up.
21/10/2023, 23:21 - Cat: I packed the fryer and if I had moved in would have packed it the same
21/10/2023, 23:22 - Cat: No malicious intent at all
21/10/2023, 23:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: I took that as a really snide thing to do in revenge for you going to jail
21/10/2023, 23:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Then I'm sorry for that adding to my anger.
21/10/2023, 23:23 - Cat: What u want me to do. I can  swear on the bible or u just remember that I u always put down my packing, even before I had a reason to hate u. I didn't hate u and packed ur things the usual way I pack
21/10/2023, 23:24 - Cat: That's what I mean. U see attack when it's not there. And then u punish me for crimes I didn't even commit
21/10/2023, 23:24 - 1 Fabian Williams: Hey, I'm not kicking off, just try to explain my thought process.
21/10/2023, 23:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm sorry
21/10/2023, 23:25 - Cat: Its hard loving you fab
21/10/2023, 23:25 - Cat: But I already love u and now I cannot switch it off
21/10/2023, 23:27 - Cat: I want us to grow from loving one another. Good relationships do that
21/10/2023, 23:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: It could have ruined everything I owned, I had to leave things behind as Dan's van is small inside. Has built in benches up one side. 
I took it as a direct attack. Combined with the ring being thrown in the canal and not being able to find things and the organisation of the packing, which is something I get OCD about, and the collapse of my life and love and relationship and loss of family it was all too much.
21/10/2023, 23:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: Same
21/10/2023, 23:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know. You too 😛
21/10/2023, 23:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: You probably find it harder though
21/10/2023, 23:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too ❤️
21/10/2023, 23:29 - Cat: U were really emotionally unstable in that video it was obvious u have bpd that day
21/10/2023, 23:29 - Cat: Can't hide that ever again
21/10/2023, 23:30 - Cat: But u think its because imof packing and I look beneath and think it'd because of the breakup and hurt
21/10/2023, 23:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah, I felt betrayed and hurt and attacked. I was crushed by everything that went down.
21/10/2023, 23:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 23:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah what you said
21/10/2023, 23:30 - Cat: U use minor things as an excuse for being angry at being abandoned
21/10/2023, 23:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: That packing was the straw that broke the camels back
21/10/2023, 23:31 - Cat: Like red pollack in seabiscuit
21/10/2023, 23:31 - Cat: When rhe horse trainer ask him, why are u so angry
21/10/2023, 23:31 - Cat: He fought everything and everyone
21/10/2023, 23:31 - Cat: But really he was mad at usi parents for selling him to the racing stable basically
21/10/2023, 23:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: Understandable then lol
21/10/2023, 23:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'd be pretty mad if I got sold
21/10/2023, 23:33 - Cat: He wasn't a slave but he had to work there because the parents needed money during the depression
21/10/2023, 23:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know, but kind of getting there innit really
21/10/2023, 23:34 - Cat: He was 15 at least, and it looked like the parents had no choice
21/10/2023, 23:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: "he was sold"
21/10/2023, 23:34 - Cat: Still it totally fucked him up
21/10/2023, 23:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 23:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sounds pretty slave-y
21/10/2023, 23:34 - Cat: That's how he felt, not what happened
21/10/2023, 23:34 - Cat: Sorry I'm telling the story badly
21/10/2023, 23:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: If that's how he felt, to him that was what happened <This message was edited>
21/10/2023, 23:35 - Cat: Lol, u re such a feeler
21/10/2023, 23:35 - Cat: ❤️
21/10/2023, 23:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: I have a high T function though 😛
21/10/2023, 23:36 - Cat: Intp: no its not. It was all in his head
21/10/2023, 23:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: 🤷
21/10/2023, 23:37 - Cat: I miss you
21/10/2023, 23:37 - 1 Fabian Williams: And I you 🥰
21/10/2023, 23:37 - Cat: I'm so happy today
21/10/2023, 23:38 - Cat: This morning was so perfect
21/10/2023, 23:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too, big silly grin
21/10/2023, 23:38 - Cat: I hope we will have many beautiful cheshire walks together with attila
21/10/2023, 23:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: I missed waking up next to you
21/10/2023, 23:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: 🤞
21/10/2023, 23:38 - Cat: Me too
21/10/2023, 23:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: Morning quicky too 😂
21/10/2023, 23:39 - Cat: I ve missed lying on ur chest so much
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: 👌
21/10/2023, 23:39 - Cat: U didn't come right?
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Same, your boobus is the best pillow
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: This message was deleted
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Last night
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah
21/10/2023, 23:39 - Cat: Lol, I remember
21/10/2023, 23:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Not in the morning
21/10/2023, 23:39 - Cat: Won't forget it ever
21/10/2023, 23:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: I was poking it around with my finger. Got me proper horny again
21/10/2023, 23:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: 🥰
21/10/2023, 23:40 - Cat: I'm so in love right now
21/10/2023, 23:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
21/10/2023, 23:40 - Cat: Poking what wirh ur finger 😱
21/10/2023, 23:40 - Cat: 🤣
21/10/2023, 23:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: My bumhole
21/10/2023, 23:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: Didn't you notice?
21/10/2023, 23:41 - Cat: Our minds went right to the same diety place
21/10/2023, 23:41 - Cat: Dirty
21/10/2023, 23:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha yeah, I mean my cum into you
21/10/2023, 23:41 - Cat: I ve missed all our dirty jokes
21/10/2023, 23:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too. Thinking about it is giving me the horn now lol
21/10/2023, 23:41 - Cat: I was just thinking
21/10/2023, 23:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Raging semi
21/10/2023, 23:42 - Cat: It's way past my bedtime
21/10/2023, 23:42 - Cat: And time for my porn routine
21/10/2023, 23:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm listening....
21/10/2023, 23:42 - Cat: And I can't even imagine watching someone else have meaniless sex right now
21/10/2023, 23:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: Go on.....
21/10/2023, 23:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 23:42 - Cat: I had the best deepest most  loving sex last night
21/10/2023, 23:43 - Cat: And this morning
21/10/2023, 23:43 - Cat: Wirh the man I love
21/10/2023, 23:43 - Cat: More than life
21/10/2023, 23:43 - Cat: It kinda put me off porn for a bit
21/10/2023, 23:43 - Cat: But not off sex
21/10/2023, 23:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: So what is your suggestion? 😛
21/10/2023, 23:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: I just want to see you say it 😂
21/10/2023, 23:44 - Cat: I'll probably get over my silly romantic musings in a little while
21/10/2023, 23:44 - Cat: And then use the back vibrator
21/10/2023, 23:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: While?....
21/10/2023, 23:44 - Cat: I've missed him too u know 😘
21/10/2023, 23:45 - Cat: Cunning plan
21/10/2023, 23:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: He got a name?
21/10/2023, 23:45 - Cat: Not yet
21/10/2023, 23:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: You caught up yeah
21/10/2023, 23:45 - Cat: I want you to name him
21/10/2023, 23:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha "Barry"
21/10/2023, 23:45 - Cat: He will forever be strongly associated with h
21/10/2023, 23:45 - 1 Fabian Williams: Apparently not
21/10/2023, 23:46 - Cat: I have
21/10/2023, 23:46 - Cat: Call?
21/10/2023, 23:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
21/10/2023, 23:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha
22/10/2023, 00:43 - Cat: IMG-20231022-WA0000.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 01:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0001.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 02:01 - Cat: VID-20231022-WA0002.mp4 (file attached)
22/10/2023, 02:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sweet dreams Catherine ❤️. Love you more than anything. That is clear to me now
22/10/2023, 03:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: +44 1782 848708
22/10/2023, 03:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0003.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 04:24 - 1 Fabian Williams: Tempted try 4 weeks of that better help thing? You had that right, did you rate it? It's like 180 quid for 4 weeks
22/10/2023, 08:07 - Cat: I saw a 20% voucher yesterday
22/10/2023, 08:07 - Cat: On paychcentral I think
22/10/2023, 08:39 - Cat: You deleted this message
22/10/2023, 09:07 - Cat: IMG-20231022-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 11:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: Mornin' Catherine ❤️.
22/10/2023, 11:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: That was a short and sweet reply 👌. You ok?
22/10/2023, 11:30 - Cat: He sent me this video
22/10/2023, 11:30 - Cat: https://youtu.be/oWqJcrDHhP0?si=5470NC141zq-qy9i
22/10/2023, 11:31 - Cat: Plz watch it when u re having a shit next time and write down what u feel
22/10/2023, 11:32 - Cat: I watched love number 2, and I thought that was us. Because it hurts so much and many professionals told me that there was abuse. But then I reached love number 3
22/10/2023, 11:33 - Cat: And every sentence ur face came up in my mind when he described it
22/10/2023, 11:33 - Cat: U re a my home. I ve said that so many times
22/10/2023, 11:33 - Cat: All of it. It's us. How easy is is to be ourselves. No masks, no makup
22/10/2023, 11:34 - Cat: It's just so crazy to think that we both felt abused
22/10/2023, 11:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: From the initial few seconds it just seemed like someone chatting shit, but I'll watch it all if you rate it ❤️.
22/10/2023, 11:34 - Cat: Wait then
22/10/2023, 11:34 - Cat: I wasn't sure I should share it
22/10/2023, 11:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: It ok, I'm glad you shared it
22/10/2023, 11:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know 🥰
22/10/2023, 11:35 - Cat: Keep in mind it's from a guy who wanted me to see that he is love number 3 for me
22/10/2023, 11:35 - Cat: So basically
22/10/2023, 11:35 - Cat: I have been reading and thinking more
22/10/2023, 11:36 - Cat: And I know u re my
22/10/2023, 11:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll make a coffee then give it a watch ❤️
22/10/2023, 11:36 - Cat: Gosh sorry I'm struggling wirh words again
22/10/2023, 11:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's ok, take your time, no rush <This message was edited>
22/10/2023, 11:37 - 1 Fabian Williams: That doesn't sound like you.... 😂
22/10/2023, 11:38 - Cat: U re the one I love
22/10/2023, 11:41 - Cat: How is ur stomach today?
22/10/2023, 11:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Feels a lot better ❤️
22/10/2023, 11:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: I just need to eat I think, half as bad again
22/10/2023, 11:42 - Cat: I need to go shopping
22/10/2023, 11:42 - 1 Fabian Williams: Probably be nervous next time we see each other though. For now I'm just happy and in love 🥰
22/10/2023, 11:42 - Cat: Managed to run out of toilet paper
22/10/2023, 11:42 - Cat: Missed u when I realised
22/10/2023, 11:43 - Cat: U would never let that happen
22/10/2023, 11:43 - 1 Fabian Williams: bet you haven't missed that 😛
22/10/2023, 11:43 - 1 Fabian Williams: No but if it did it'd be my fault probably 😂
22/10/2023, 11:43 - Cat: No, u re a horder
22/10/2023, 11:43 - Cat: U wouldn't run out
22/10/2023, 11:43 - 1 Fabian Williams: You're not wrong
22/10/2023, 11:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: I can't remember the last time I ran out lol
22/10/2023, 11:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's like food or air to me 😂
22/10/2023, 11:44 - Cat: You deleted this message
22/10/2023, 11:46 - Cat: I'm debating meeting Lee today
22/10/2023, 11:46 - Cat: But tbh it's cyz I want the tobacco
22/10/2023, 11:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'd go the shop I'd just buy some and I'll take it off you and hide it next time we see one another 😛.
If you do see him I hope it goes well, and he doesn't spit his dummy out too much ❤️
22/10/2023, 12:01 - 1 Fabian Williams: I agree. That had me welling up ❤️
22/10/2023, 12:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm glad you did
22/10/2023, 12:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: I think you're just Uber minimalistic 😛
22/10/2023, 12:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: At the time it felt like number 2
22/10/2023, 12:06 - Cat: Me too
22/10/2023, 12:06 - Cat: But then the description of number 3
22/10/2023, 12:06 - Cat: Fuck
22/10/2023, 12:06 - Cat: It's us
22/10/2023, 12:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Fucking hell some dating apps are a right fuck about to delete. I've got rid of all mine. Cancelled subscriptions and deleted. Even if we don't pan out Its not right I'm on there with how I feel about you.
22/10/2023, 12:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah, it really is 🥰
22/10/2023, 12:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: Melted me haha
22/10/2023, 12:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: I don't think that video worked how David planned it too 😳... 😂
22/10/2023, 12:33 - Cat: I thought the same
22/10/2023, 12:33 - Cat: Look fabian
22/10/2023, 12:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yes Catherine
22/10/2023, 12:33 - Cat: I know its been rough at times
22/10/2023, 12:33 - Cat: But for both of us
22/10/2023, 12:33 - Cat: The good outweighed the bad by a lot
22/10/2023, 12:34 - Cat: We  both spent the last 4 months obsessed trying to find a replacement for what er had
22/10/2023, 12:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: It did, I miss so much about you. If we can just not fight loop it'll be perfect
22/10/2023, 12:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah basically, complete waste of time 😂
22/10/2023, 12:34 - Cat: And we both won't rest unless we feel secure with another person
22/10/2023, 12:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: Served a purpose though
22/10/2023, 12:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll do my best to make sure it's you
22/10/2023, 12:35 - Cat: IMG-20231022-WA0012.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 12:36 - Cat: Om outside tasso about to buy tobacco
22/10/2023, 12:36 - Cat: Lee wants to come over but I'm reluctant cuz I know I will tell him we slept together and then it's final
22/10/2023, 12:36 - Cat: He will leave my life
22/10/2023, 12:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: So will that ring.
22/10/2023, 12:37 - Cat: And I haven't got a plan for ring
22/10/2023, 12:37 - Cat: Yes was just gonna write that
22/10/2023, 12:37 - Cat: So I need time to think and see how things develop
22/10/2023, 12:37 - Cat: I kinda wanna come see u
22/10/2023, 12:38 - Cat: I'm out with dog, would only be 15 min max
22/10/2023, 12:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: That's fine, take your time. 
I'll not buy it off Lee. I'm skint. But if you buy it back I'll owe you the money and pay you 20 quid a week till it's covered?
22/10/2023, 12:38 - Cat: Yea I was thinking something like that
22/10/2023, 12:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: Of course you can.
22/10/2023, 12:39 - Cat: Can I see the postcode?
22/10/2023, 12:39 - Cat: Need to check the route
22/10/2023, 12:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Dunno how dog friendly mine is lol
22/10/2023, 12:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll try make it so
22/10/2023, 12:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Flat 4 49 Florence Street Newcastle-under-Lyme ST52BH
22/10/2023, 12:39 - Cat: Yea he will trash ur place. I will leave him in the car, but really can only stay 15 min max
22/10/2023, 12:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: That's fine
22/10/2023, 12:40 - Cat: It's 25 min drive
22/10/2023, 12:40 - Cat: You deleted this message
22/10/2023, 12:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: No worries, just having a tidy lol 😂
22/10/2023, 12:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: Good to see you for however long
22/10/2023, 13:11 - Cat: Ummm ok
22/10/2023, 13:12 - Cat: I'm here
22/10/2023, 13:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: Coming
22/10/2023, 17:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: I forgot to give you the tobacco sorry
22/10/2023, 17:33 - Cat: Just realised. Don't worry i got my vape back
22/10/2023, 17:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0014.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 17:36 - Cat: VID-20231022-WA0015.mp4 (file attached)
22/10/2023, 17:37 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0016.jpg (file attached)
Sorted. I don't know why the fuck they say do the finger tip. That took 20x as long as tourniquet on upper arm and popping the vain there 🤷
22/10/2023, 17:53 - Cat: You deleted this message
22/10/2023, 17:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: ?
22/10/2023, 17:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
22/10/2023, 17:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: https://youtu.be/RL66ZiQPuuY?si=WJ64beCbad_JVgmU
22/10/2023, 18:02 - Cat: https://youtu.be/Itap5Laep3Q?feature=shared
22/10/2023, 18:02 - Cat: Was sending u this
22/10/2023, 18:02 - Cat: Would love ur thoughts on it
22/10/2023, 18:13 - Cat: Don't panic, I'm not abandoning u. 

 I listened trying to reason myself out of this crazy idea this morning but have personally concluded that: 

1. you are 10000% worth it. We are both love addicts and will never stop chasing the drug. Better to get the fix in good company knowing we are both safe with one another.

2. I totally get the love goggles bit, but mine are gone now. Only real deep sincere love left. What he says is how I felt about ever other person i was ever involved with, but not you.

 3. that I did not look at u as my ex thinking wtf did I ever see in him, he is repulsive. That happened to me with every ex except you. 

4. In conclusion I would love to propose that we never break up again. 

That's all for today. Will go code now ❤️🤗😚
22/10/2023, 18:13 - Cat: Oh 5.
22/10/2023, 18:14 - Cat: 5. The pain and the heartache,  which I considered emotional abuse. I am wondering if he is right and its just a normal part of loving, and I overreacted, just like u did.
22/10/2023, 18:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: About a third through it. Will reply when finished ❤️
22/10/2023, 18:29 - 1 Fabian Williams: I agree with 1. Wholeheartedly.

2. I know the goggles are gone but the strong love is still there and after sex, I feel stronger about you if anything, rather than like shame or some shit like he was on about

Who needs inner peace anyway. 🤷😂. I'd rather have you with all the ups and downs ❤️.

3, I never felt that either whenever I saw your photos looking for work pics I always thought how beautiful you are and how happy we were when I was taken.

I accept the 4. proposal ❤️.

5. We both over reacted. I'm sorry for my part and thank you for all the things you apologized for. Means a lot 

Good luck coding 😘.
I love you Catherine x
22/10/2023, 18:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: The "don't panic, I'm not abandoning you" thing is actually comforting, if a little funny. ❤️
22/10/2023, 18:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you, made me well up a bit
22/10/2023, 18:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: You know me
22/10/2023, 18:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0017.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 18:53 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0018.jpg (file attached)
I can eat again ❤️
22/10/2023, 20:33 - Cat: Lee came over wirh kebabs trying to save me from u
22/10/2023, 20:33 - Cat: We had a heartbreaking talk
22/10/2023, 20:33 - Cat: He just left
22/10/2023, 20:33 - Cat: Feel really shit for him
22/10/2023, 20:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: What went down?
22/10/2023, 20:35 - Cat: Gosh u don't even know if u can repeat that
22/10/2023, 20:35 - Cat: I can
22/10/2023, 20:36 - Cat: He didn't cry
22/10/2023, 20:36 - Cat: He wanted to punch something but then didn't find anything suitable and left it
22/10/2023, 20:37 - Cat: He gave me the option to change my mind and marry him. But he will probably take that back tomorrow
22/10/2023, 20:38 - Cat: Plz say something emotionally intelligent
22/10/2023, 20:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: Repeat what sorry
22/10/2023, 20:39 - Cat: Repeat that conversation
22/10/2023, 20:39 - Cat: It was so awkward and terrible
22/10/2023, 20:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: Oh no, are you ok?
22/10/2023, 20:39 - Cat: Like all the reasons the guy in the last video said love sucks
22/10/2023, 20:39 - 1 Fabian Williams: I wasn't sure if he was gonna come tonight
22/10/2023, 20:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: I still feel bad for him
22/10/2023, 20:40 - Cat: We spoke about it before I lost my mind and jdut drove yo urs and forgot about the world
22/10/2023, 20:40 - Cat: But it wasn't confirmed
22/10/2023, 20:40 - Cat: So I was a bit surprised when he knocked
22/10/2023, 20:40 - Cat: Was actually waiting for his response to my text
22/10/2023, 20:40 - Cat: Where I asked if he wanted to play chess
22/10/2023, 20:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: So he just bowled round unannounced?
22/10/2023, 20:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Distracting and he knew it
22/10/2023, 20:42 - Cat: Huh?
22/10/2023, 20:42 - Cat: Yea he was mad at me even though he said "I know we re not dating,  but...."
22/10/2023, 20:42 - Cat: Like I said at some point I'm a grown up woman and ifs not like I cheated we re not together
22/10/2023, 20:43 - Cat: The fact that I even had to say this
22/10/2023, 20:43 - Cat: But in his head, he considered us an asexual couple
22/10/2023, 20:43 - Cat: His reality
22/10/2023, 20:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: You're getting it ❤️
22/10/2023, 20:44 - Cat: You taught me ❤️
22/10/2023, 20:44 - 1 Fabian Williams: You were distracting him
22/10/2023, 20:44 - Cat: Yes
22/10/2023, 20:45 - Cat: And it's not a huge surprise
22/10/2023, 20:45 - Cat: But he read my face as I told him everything and basically pointed out to me that I'm smiling non stop talking about u
22/10/2023, 20:46 - Cat: Which sucked cuz I really wanted to end this amicably and empathetically
22/10/2023, 20:46 - Cat: And he was devastated
22/10/2023, 20:46 - Cat: I didn't mean to smile but I feel like shit
22/10/2023, 20:46 - Cat: For it
22/10/2023, 20:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know, it's hard to not smile when I think of you. He must be gutted :-/
22/10/2023, 20:49 - Cat: He wants me to block u for a week and think about who I want to be with
22/10/2023, 20:49 - Cat: He says he still wants to date me if I agreed
22/10/2023, 20:50 - Cat: I said I love u
22/10/2023, 20:50 - Cat: He said I'm being gaslit
22/10/2023, 20:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: That must have hurt too
22/10/2023, 20:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: What am I saying to gas light you?
22/10/2023, 20:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: Upto you. ❤️
22/10/2023, 20:53 - 1 Fabian Williams: And I love you
22/10/2023, 20:53 - 1 Fabian Williams: Will just turned up but I'll reply as fast as I can.
22/10/2023, 20:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: It must have been hard for you. I'm sorry for that x
22/10/2023, 20:55 - Cat: Are u gonna say anything?
22/10/2023, 20:55 - Cat: 3% battery. No charger
22/10/2023, 20:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: Are you getting my messages?
22/10/2023, 20:56 - Cat: I said to Lee, he wants someone to abuse him. I'm not an abuser I cannot play games and triangles
22/10/2023, 20:56 - Cat: Lol yes
22/10/2023, 20:56 - Cat: I mean to will
22/10/2023, 20:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: You've done the right thing
22/10/2023, 20:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Not tonight. Alex messaged back. Will do soon give it a week or two. It's all still very fresh. I want us to get a routine and book therapy x
22/10/2023, 20:58 - Cat: K. If u wanna do the triangulation thing with her now I'm out
22/10/2023, 20:58 - Cat: I ended things with everyone who thought they had a chance
22/10/2023, 20:58 - Cat: No more drama
22/10/2023, 20:59 - Cat: I don't want u to tell will if it'd up to me
22/10/2023, 21:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: What? It's done. Are you mad? Its over she gets it
22/10/2023, 21:00 - Cat: But u gotta tell the woman u slept with that u rr back with ur fiance of 2 years. I bought the ring back for u
22/10/2023, 21:01 - Cat: Still want the money though plz. But y can take ur time
22/10/2023, 21:01 - Cat: And we do another proposal  when u have it
22/10/2023, 21:01 - Cat: No actually
22/10/2023, 21:01 - Cat: I just wsnt to be still engaged
22/10/2023, 21:02 - Cat: Do we have to do it again?
22/10/2023, 21:02 - Cat: What's better?
22/10/2023, 21:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: Get engaged?
22/10/2023, 21:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah I'd say so
22/10/2023, 21:02 - Cat: Yea
22/10/2023, 21:02 - Cat: Sorry its my autism
22/10/2023, 21:03 - Cat: I still want to be engaged to u
22/10/2023, 21:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
22/10/2023, 21:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: I will
22/10/2023, 21:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: We are no longer in contact
22/10/2023, 21:03 - Cat: U said she messaged back?
22/10/2023, 21:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: "That's all you needed to say" was the last thing. It's done. I feel relieved
22/10/2023, 21:04 - Cat: ❤️
22/10/2023, 21:04 - Cat: I wanna ask what u said before, cuz om curious  but u don't need to say
22/10/2023, 21:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm really sorry, can't help the feelings I still clearly have. I'm still in love with her I thought I was past it and I'm not. 

It's ok, I understand you'd be upset, it was going well with us. I'm sorry this came out of nowhere.
You deserve to be more than someone's second best.
It's been a surprise for me too.
I never thought I'd want to get back with her after everything but I do. 
I don't know what more I can say. 
I'm sorry I've hurt you. It really wasn't intentional :-/.
22/10/2023, 21:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Bear in mind I'm trying to spare feelings
22/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: So she wanted the sorry bit
22/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: I said I'm sorry to lee
22/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: Lots of times
22/10/2023, 21:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: I said sorry a hundred times lol
22/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: I'm sorry for the mistrust
22/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: But I'm wondering now why u didn't screenshot it, but typed it up again
22/10/2023, 21:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231022-WA0019.jpg (file attached)
22/10/2023, 21:09 - Cat: Fuck, I'm sorry, but I m still debating if u re a psychopath and gaslighting me
22/10/2023, 21:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: I was trying to diplomatically let her down but I wasn't being blunt enough. <This message was edited>
22/10/2023, 21:10 - Cat: And now I feel bad
22/10/2023, 21:10 - Cat: Of course u told her u wanted more. I'm not mad at that.
22/10/2023, 21:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you ❤️
22/10/2023, 21:11 - Cat: You did want it to be deeper like I did with David. No hard  feelings at all, I tried the same.
22/10/2023, 21:12 - Cat: It's clear as day to me now that wr both hurt people because we are fucked up
22/10/2023, 21:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm glad you understand
22/10/2023, 21:12 - Cat: I feel guilty too
22/10/2023, 21:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: Always best to try do things the right way
22/10/2023, 21:12 - Cat: Nobody can beat the addiction wr have for one another and its not fair on the others
22/10/2023, 21:13 - Cat: I never wanna do this agin
22/10/2023, 21:13 - Cat: Km scared that we will end up breaking up every few years just to appreciate one another again. I really don't want that
22/10/2023, 21:14 - Cat: It's fucking cruel on the rebounds
22/10/2023, 21:14 - Cat: I think we should split the therapy costs and go together
22/10/2023, 21:15 - Cat: U else u want to work on it on ur own, boundaries, just tell me
22/10/2023, 21:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me neither
22/10/2023, 21:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: I agree
22/10/2023, 21:15 - Cat: I also want to be the best partner I can be for you
22/10/2023, 21:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm game, anyone to recommend
22/10/2023, 21:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: ?
22/10/2023, 21:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: And I you
22/10/2023, 21:16 - Cat: It means so much to me how open u are about the borderline and accepting we need some help
22/10/2023, 21:17 - Cat: I know I'm not easy either, and while there's no cure for autism like there is for bpd, I want to learn strategies to meet ur needs better
22/10/2023, 21:18 - Cat: All I want is make you feel safe and loved. I cannot make u happy. That's on you. But I can make u laugh and smile and giggle and come. And i plan to do loads of that for the rest of our lives.
22/10/2023, 21:18 - Cat: 1% battery
22/10/2023, 21:18 - Cat: U don't need to reply I'm just texting to love bla bla till it dies
22/10/2023, 21:18 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
22/10/2023, 21:19 - Cat: I love yoh
22/10/2023, 21:19 - Cat: I love you
22/10/2023, 21:19 - Cat: I love yoh
22/10/2023, 21:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you too. And I want to marry you still ❤️ xxx
22/10/2023, 21:19 - Cat: Lol. There are things u can do to support my autism, I read about it. U do most of them instinctively but I will share if I come across something relevant
22/10/2023, 21:20 - Cat: Most important one u already wrote down. There had to be a time, a place and a loving kiss for every dispute or argument
22/10/2023, 21:21 - 1 Fabian Williams: Please do, anything I can do to help
22/10/2023, 21:21 - Cat: I want to marry you too. I want to be your wife and never leave your side. I'm so so sorry for asking to end it so many times
22/10/2023, 21:21 - Cat: I had no idea what I asked for
22/10/2023, 21:21 - Cat: And I'm so sorry to have hurt u
22/10/2023, 21:21 - Cat: Good night ❤️
22/10/2023, 21:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you. It was heart rending each time. I really appreciate that you see it
22/10/2023, 21:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you Catherine. Sweet dreams, chat Tuesday about a schedule you said?
22/10/2023, 21:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
22/10/2023, 21:50 - Cat: Had another random thought: if the borderline is on Yr NHS record it should be much easier to get referred to therapy. And it would be free
22/10/2023, 21:51 - Cat: What kind of assessment did u have?
22/10/2023, 21:52 - Cat: Yes, let's take a day off to let it all sink in. No need to tell anyone who is not in love with either of us anything at this point
22/10/2023, 21:53 - Cat: Good night ❤️
22/10/2023, 21:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: It was a decade or so ago now sure it was proper
22/10/2023, 21:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll call and find out tomorrow
22/10/2023, 21:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you ❤️
22/10/2023, 22:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sweet dreams my everything. I've missed you so much. I can't believe it's back 🥰 xxx
23/10/2023, 00:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=265162
23/10/2023, 07:09 - Cat: I'm saving this in a new group, It's such an accurate description of us ❤️❤️❤️ I love that you re up late at night same as me, reading up on how we can continue to love one another so deeply and madly and passionately, but without the hurt. That woman sounds like she has done a lot or work on her issues though
23/10/2023, 07:09 - Cat: I've known about my disorder for half my life, and I've worked very, VERY hard to overcome it. Not only with years of therapy, taking just about every med out there (none worked for me, though that doesn't mean they don't/won't work for others), and reading countless self-help books, but also just in daily life-- regularly working on:
- Not indulging in sour moods
- Learning to self-soothe
- Controlling anger
- Treating the person closest to me with respect
- Holding my tongue
- Letting things go
- Being less hyper-sensitive
- Realizing how massive the damage is when I'm cruel
- Becoming less selfish, and more helpful and supportive
- Learning who I am and valuing that person/ Getting over self-loathing
- Ceasing to be manipulative
- Becoming a more consistent and stable person
- Learning accountability
- Overcoming abandonment issues
- And overcoming an accompanying anxiety disorder, which included generalized anxiety as well as anxiety attacks (thankful I'm over this disorder completely!)
23/10/2023, 07:12 - Cat: "Realising how massive the damage is when I'm cruel" - this is the only issue I really struggle with. All other bpd things u have, but I don't really mind. Some I find endearing. Its just this one that I really need fixed with professional help
23/10/2023, 07:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: She reminded me of me a bit.
23/10/2023, 07:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah all of that lol
23/10/2023, 07:13 - Cat: Gotta work now, I will upload my diagnosis also to the resource folder
23/10/2023, 07:18 - 1 Fabian Williams: Love you Catherine, have a great day. 
I feel renewed, happy, and ready to smash today out of the park 😁.
23/10/2023, 07:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll try keep messaging to a minimum today, for the sake of boundaries 😘
23/10/2023, 07:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you, I really hope it will help me understand you better ❤️
23/10/2023, 07:29 - 1 Fabian Williams: I managed to source some "fuck weed" 😂. Not got it yet but ordered, I'm like 90 percent sure that was the same strain.
23/10/2023, 12:26 - Cat: IMG-20231023-WA0002.jpg (file attached)
I FUCKING LOVE YOU ❤️
23/10/2023, 12:26 - Cat: Not sure lovy dovvy messages are allowed, but u don't have to reply.
23/10/2023, 12:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: Was that the other night 🥰
23/10/2023, 12:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: I fucking love you too 😊
23/10/2023, 12:27 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231023-WA0003.jpg (file attached)
23/10/2023, 12:27 - Cat: IMG-20231023-WA0004.jpg (file attached)
23/10/2023, 12:28 - Cat: Nope, In Manchester
23/10/2023, 12:29 - 1 Fabian Williams: Still a great photo 😊
23/10/2023, 12:59 - Cat: IMG-20231023-WA0005.jpg (file attached)
Ur first selfie
23/10/2023, 13:02 - Cat: I love it for data analysis 🤓. U always used to wonder why on earth I took all these random obnoxious selfies of us, but I find it interesting that both of us look healthier and more emotionally mature after 2 years. I lost weight but hope u don't mind me saying, u looked loads better than when we met, even right before breakup. If it was as toxic as you thought then, u would look much shifter than when we met. And me too. I have noticed that I look better now than 2 years ago, and that made me think that, despite the rough patches, the good must have outweighed the bad
23/10/2023, 13:03 - Cat: IMG-20231023-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
23/10/2023, 14:55 - Cat: You deleted this message
23/10/2023, 14:56 - Cat: Some porn for tonight for your nerd fetish 😜
23/10/2023, 14:57 - Cat: VID-20231023-WA0009.mp4 (file attached)
23/10/2023, 15:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: VID-20231023-WA0010.mp4 (file attached)
23/10/2023, 15:49 - Cat: VID-20231023-WA0011.mp4 (file attached)
23/10/2023, 16:07 - Cat: I loved every second we spent together in last 3 days. Miss you so much already
23/10/2023, 16:09 - Cat: I am having the dumbest fantasies.... like..... I'm in the garden and I think.... oh I wish fabian lived here he could fart really loud when the neighbours are outside. Is that weird?
23/10/2023, 16:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha maybe that one's a little weird 😛. But I love you cus you're weird
23/10/2023, 16:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too 🥰. Am I staying yours  tomorrow or going home after a cut off time? So I know whether to bring clothes for Wednesday morning?
What are we thinking, like Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday maybe? For the 3 days a week thing?
23/10/2023, 16:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: How was your day?
23/10/2023, 16:49 - Cat: Lol, u know I can never say no to u. Can't believe we slept together twice when I had firm resolutions not to sleep with u until the test comes back.
I hate that you have this effect on me and i love you for having this effect on me.

 Couldnt fall in love with anyone else because nobody else can make me do things like you do. Thank you for being you.
23/10/2023, 16:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: I posted my samples this morning ❤️
23/10/2023, 16:50 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you for being you too 😊.
So I'll bring a change of clothes then 😊
23/10/2023, 16:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha same, stubborn as fuck me.
23/10/2023, 16:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: Why we need boundaries 😂
23/10/2023, 16:51 - Cat: We should wait till the test comes back before meeting again. Its not like we can exercise much self restraint together 🤷🏻‍♀️
23/10/2023, 16:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: If you feel that's best 🤷. How long did yours take? <This message was edited>
23/10/2023, 16:52 - Cat: I am dying to see u. But we can't control ourselves at all, we re like kids when together
23/10/2023, 16:52 - Cat: Not long, 2 days or so
23/10/2023, 16:52 - 1 Fabian Williams: Hmm, well if I don't see you tomorrow then hopefully I'll have them by Thursday 🤞
23/10/2023, 16:53 - Cat: I loved sucking ur penis, ive missed him so much. I love how we make love and it really feels like love. And on top of that I'm still sooo into you
23/10/2023, 16:55 - Cat: I'll miss you till that fucking test comds
23/10/2023, 16:55 - Cat: Bit yea, once we have it, bring toothbrush and clothes
23/10/2023, 16:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: I quite liked it too 😂.
You know how I feel about going down on you 😉. Making love with you is the best. With anyone else it's just basically emotionless fucking 😂
23/10/2023, 16:55 - Cat: Same ❤️
23/10/2023, 16:56 - Cat: I have these instant coffees that I got u, but bring anything else u wanna eat. Our fridge is a barren desert
23/10/2023, 16:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: Heard owt off Lee? Any more dramas about us or anything? From kids or anyone?
23/10/2023, 16:57 - Cat: Don't wanna starve you. I've always more concerned about ur eating than u ❤️🤗
23/10/2023, 16:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Will do 😘
23/10/2023, 16:57 - Cat: Lee apologised today for some things he said yesterday when he was angey
23/10/2023, 16:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know, and i love you for it ☺️
23/10/2023, 16:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Trying play it cool lol
23/10/2023, 16:58 - Cat: I didn't think it was too bad, but being lee he said some inappropriate things which I am used to from him
23/10/2023, 16:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Reckon you can still be friends?
23/10/2023, 16:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: Let me know when you have that ring back in your possession and I'll set up a direct debit or something
23/10/2023, 17:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: Looking forward to watching some films with you and doom cuddling 😁
23/10/2023, 17:03 - Cat: Na. He acted like a betrayed boyfriend when he knows he is not. He entertained the thought that now it was gonna be his turn becausr he helped me out so mucj with puerto Rico. I sent him 500 quid for the week though. I'm so sorry for him, I never led him on, but I can't  seem to get through to him that we re not suitable as lovers despite me caring deeply about him
23/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: Irs bin day and I have to yell at musti to take the bin out. I miss you 😔
23/10/2023, 17:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: It was his reality 🤷.
23/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: He left the ring here but I ve not paid him for it yet. Its still legally his
23/10/2023, 17:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: This message was deleted
23/10/2023, 17:05 - Cat: Would send a strong message if the payment came from ur account, or at least partially
23/10/2023, 17:05 - 1 Fabian Williams: Did you give him a receipt....? Lol
23/10/2023, 17:05 - Cat: Of course not
23/10/2023, 17:05 - 1 Fabian Williams: Then is it really his? 🤷
23/10/2023, 17:05 - Cat: But he can proof with the transaction that its his plus I'd never steal something of my mate
23/10/2023, 17:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: I can't afford even half of 900 quid. And I'm not paying that slimy weasel a penny. I can give "you" the money back in little bits weekly like I said, that's as far as I can compromise sorry.
I'm still hurt he even ended up with it. I'd much rather kick all of his teeth out and take it off him.
23/10/2023, 17:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: So you have it right now?
23/10/2023, 17:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll send some money across now if you like
23/10/2023, 17:09 - Cat: Lol u really want that ring back
23/10/2023, 17:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: I don't want him to have it.
23/10/2023, 17:10 - Cat: Are u sure u still want to marry me? Are we rushing things?
23/10/2023, 17:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yes. And Probably
23/10/2023, 17:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: Even if we don't get married I don't want him having something I spent my savings, love, time and effort for you on.
23/10/2023, 17:11 - Cat: I wish I could erase the breakup and last 4 months from my memory and still be your fiance. Its my autism
23/10/2023, 17:11 - Cat: I know its not possible to undo any of it
23/10/2023, 17:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know, me too
23/10/2023, 17:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: But it's possible to work towards it never happening again.
23/10/2023, 17:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: You saying you'd thrown the symbol of my love for you in a canal was what made me completely lose it when I came to get my stuff. 
Knowing Lee has it is worse.
23/10/2023, 17:13 - Cat: U wanted it back
23/10/2023, 17:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: I did
23/10/2023, 17:14 - Cat: An engagement ring. The police woman said only narcissist would ask such a thing.
23/10/2023, 17:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: If it was a 50quid special from Argos maybe.
23/10/2023, 17:14 - Cat: Now I worry that u just came back to me to get that ring 😔
23/10/2023, 17:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: 🙄
23/10/2023, 17:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: If just wanted the ring back I wouldn't be prepared to pay you even more fucking money for it...
23/10/2023, 17:15 - Cat: Is it evening yet?
23/10/2023, 17:15 - Cat: I love you Fabian
23/10/2023, 17:15 - Cat: You are my world
23/10/2023, 17:16 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you too 😊
23/10/2023, 17:16 - Cat: My best friend. My lover. My soul mate. My teacher. My family.
23/10/2023, 17:16 - Cat: OK continue....
23/10/2023, 17:17 - Cat: How much can u send in one chunk? Its 600, not 900 he paid for it.
23/10/2023, 17:18 - 1 Fabian Williams: 50 now maybe another 50 tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever I get paid.
23/10/2023, 17:18 - 1 Fabian Williams: My rent is due out next week
23/10/2023, 17:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: 505 quid I think
23/10/2023, 17:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Including garage
23/10/2023, 17:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: That's less bad.
23/10/2023, 17:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: You said you have it with you, and that he does not. I trust that you do. I will send some now.
23/10/2023, 17:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Bank details the same?
23/10/2023, 17:23 - Cat: I'd save up for it separately and if u still love me in 3 months pay it to him in full and its done with. I feel really bad for him. Me now buying the ring back that he bought hoping to propose to me some day seems really cruel.
23/10/2023, 17:24 - Cat: At least in 3 months time he will be over it and appreciate the money. Right now it seems like a huge dig
23/10/2023, 17:24 - 1 Fabian Williams: He should buy his own ring the pathetic wasteman. Who uses their nemesis' ring to propose. Fucking faggot. Pardon my lack of political correctness
23/10/2023, 17:25 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sorry this whole ring thing is a bit triggering for me
23/10/2023, 17:25 - Cat: Sorry it was me. He said he wanted to marry me and I said I don't want another ring I only love this ring. This is my ring bla bla bla. We were drunk when we made the deal and I was emotional
23/10/2023, 17:25 - Cat: I didn't think ud ever come back
23/10/2023, 17:25 - Cat: Be mad at me, not him
23/10/2023, 17:27 - 1 Fabian Williams: I could never have used someone else's ring I knew and despised to propose to you. At the very least find out where it came from and get one similar but different.
23/10/2023, 17:27 - 1 Fabian Williams: Nor did I. Yet here we are ❤️
23/10/2023, 17:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: I feel hurt by you. I'm still mad at him for all the different things he's done 🤷
23/10/2023, 17:29 - Cat: Om still getting my head around that I've loved and missed u this whole time. I buried my feelings, yes, but I knew if I went into the box I would find schrodingers cat very much alive.
23/10/2023, 17:29 - 1 Fabian Williams: Out of sight out of mind lol
23/10/2023, 17:29 - Cat: U moved on and didn't give me second thought until 2 weeks ago when u realised that it will never feel the same wirh someone else
23/10/2023, 17:30 - 1 Fabian Williams: I don't think that's very fair 😔
23/10/2023, 17:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: Two weeks ago when you started intrusively entering my thoughts to the point I couldn't stop thinking about you, 
I still thought about you for the months apart, I just pushed it away or distracted myself
23/10/2023, 17:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: I tried to move on, as did you🤷
23/10/2023, 17:32 - Cat: It's just a lot to process. I want to be sure I'm not manipulating you into loving me. I love you and I know that u are like a mirror to my soul so whatever I feel, u feel too
23/10/2023, 17:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: Same here. I was looking up love bombing last night
23/10/2023, 17:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: Was worried I was doing it. But the descriptions don't fit 😊
23/10/2023, 17:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm still not 100% on the meanings of all the terms, so I worry I'm being bpd or something
23/10/2023, 17:34 - Cat: Honestly I'm also reading a lot
23/10/2023, 17:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: No way, really?!?
23/10/2023, 17:35 - Cat: I started building a psychopath protection app and it needed research
23/10/2023, 17:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ask away lol
23/10/2023, 17:37 - Cat: Yes. I won't date u if u are a narcissist worh borderline ... sorry Ahmed talking to me... Will finish this later
23/10/2023, 17:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: I don't think I am. God knows I've wondered
23/10/2023, 17:41 - Cat: Borderline can look like narcissism but it'd a different condition. I don't think u re a narcissist. Even though some things u did are classic telltale signs. I'd like to think I understand u on a deeper level and ur motivations are different
23/10/2023, 17:43 - Cat: But then the guy u like said bpd is either childhood trauma or narcissism,  there is no separate condition. That's not what the medical community thinks, bjt then psychology is not a hard science. The definitions change all the time, like with aspergera vs autism etc
23/10/2023, 17:44 - Cat: Sorry Ahmed still wands attention
23/10/2023, 17:44 - Cat: Write me I will read it all in peace in a min and replh
23/10/2023, 17:45 - Cat: Reply
23/10/2023, 17:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: That's cool, give him some, supposed be our boundary day off  😉...
Yeah the motivations for the behaviour are what makes the difference I think. 
I'm either feeling hurt, lost or like I need to defend myself, probably because of past abuses, like from the Slovak.
23/10/2023, 17:54 - 1 Fabian Williams: https://youtu.be/lim--BoD1cU?si=yqSeCuyEtCvUM4-X
23/10/2023, 17:54 - 1 Fabian Williams: This was the video where he went on about it. He waffles for the first few minutes till the picture changes
23/10/2023, 18:07 - Cat: https://youtu.be/XEDda93M_mg?feature=shared
23/10/2023, 18:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: Just on way shop. No WiFi watch when back
23/10/2023, 18:12 - Cat: Sorry its a bit long, but I picked it because its a real doctor
23/10/2023, 18:13 - Cat: I have a shorter one, but it's from an autistic guy
23/10/2023, 18:17 - Cat: https://youtu.be/lqsAL-cqeYs?feature=shared
23/10/2023, 18:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's fine, that's short by your standards
23/10/2023, 18:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Lol
23/10/2023, 18:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll watch both, I want to understand you better ❤️
23/10/2023, 19:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: Thank you for that Catherine. It's very helpful.
I love you, and I'm sorry for not understanding more sooner.
23/10/2023, 19:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: When you say something that I find hurtful I'm trying to let you know diplomatically
23/10/2023, 19:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: I see where you're coming from
23/10/2023, 19:30 - Cat: Thank you
23/10/2023, 19:31 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm truly sorry
23/10/2023, 19:40 - 1 Fabian Williams: I had no idea the two got confused so much
23/10/2023, 19:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Did you know of a therapist who'd do us both if we split it?
23/10/2023, 19:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Just jumping in shower
23/10/2023, 20:18 - Cat: Nope I don't know one sorry
23/10/2023, 20:18 - Cat: Qas gonna look at congleton or somewhere between us geographically but didn't get a chance yet
23/10/2023, 20:28 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah no worries ❤️
23/10/2023, 20:52 - Cat: Quantum entanglement is the phenomenon that occurs when a group of particles are generated, interact, or share spatial proximity in such a way that the quantum state of each particle of the group cannot be described independently of the state of the others, including when the particles are separated by a large distance. The topic of quantum entanglement is at the heart of the disparity between classical and quantum physics: entanglement is a primary feature of quantum mechanics not present in classical mechanics.[1]
23/10/2023, 20:52 - Cat: How is ur boundary evening?
23/10/2023, 21:00 - Cat: Lol, are we allowed to talk?
23/10/2023, 21:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: Haha hi yeah, sorry I'm trying to transport two wolves in a Viking boat and it's not going very well 😂
23/10/2023, 21:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: How is yours 😛
23/10/2023, 21:03 - Cat: Reading toxic relationship stuff
23/10/2023, 21:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: I knew it! 👌
23/10/2023, 21:03 - Cat: And talking to people about us
23/10/2023, 21:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: How's that going lol
23/10/2023, 21:04 - Cat: Do u wanna video? That way u can game and we can talk, same as if we were together in our living room
23/10/2023, 21:04 - Cat: Minus the cuddles and sexual teasing
23/10/2023, 21:05 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me and will are on voice call
23/10/2023, 21:05 - 1 Fabian Williams: I do love that ☺️
23/10/2023, 21:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Do gossip 😛
23/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: I'm trying to do the right thing by analysing if it's healthy for us to get back together. For your sake too. I love u and don't want to abuse u unintentionally
23/10/2023, 21:08 - Cat: U re my most beloved person in the world
23/10/2023, 21:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: Nor I, I want to learn as much about your autism as possible ❤️
23/10/2023, 21:09 - 1 Fabian Williams: You too 😁
23/10/2023, 21:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: It might not be if we don't go about it the right way 🤷
23/10/2023, 21:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: Will driving the boat for now, if I take a min reply don't stress ❤️. Probably being attacked or drowning lol
23/10/2023, 21:11 - Cat: Thank u
23/10/2023, 21:11 - 1 Fabian Williams: For what
23/10/2023, 21:12 - Cat: For everything
23/10/2023, 21:12 - 1 Fabian Williams: Naww, You too Catherine 😊
23/10/2023, 21:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: In specific, sending that message, the past few weeks I've been struggling with motivation at work then when you messaged I struggled Friday to do anything. 
But now, I smashed it today, I feel really happy and way more content. I know things aren't perfect but knowing I'm with you again makes me feel whole, like you said.
23/10/2023, 22:18 - Cat: Me too fabian
23/10/2023, 22:19 - Cat: Can't say I smashed it at work, but I feel energized when things are good between us and I feel like I can do anything
23/10/2023, 22:20 - Cat: I ve missed that feeling so much
23/10/2023, 22:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: You're so smart, you can do anything ❤️
23/10/2023, 22:20 - Cat: Can we say goodnight over video?
23/10/2023, 22:20 - Cat: I have to sleep, can't do for long
23/10/2023, 22:35 - 1 Fabian Williams: Love you ❤️
23/10/2023, 22:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: You understand right? It felt like you were a bit off with me then, wondering if BPD 😔
23/10/2023, 22:41 - 1 Fabian Williams: Or am I overthinking
23/10/2023, 22:41 - Cat: Trying to respond
23/10/2023, 22:42 - Cat: Verbal constipation bear with me
23/10/2023, 22:46 - Cat: I get the topics I've brought up were too deep for a quick goodnight call and would be better to discuss while sitting on the sofa together and holding hands or hug
23/10/2023, 22:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: Exactly that, I'd really like that ❤️
23/10/2023, 22:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: I want to talk over everything with you
23/10/2023, 22:47 - Cat: I have no problem with u gaming in the evenings, in fact it was one of the things I missed while lee was staying here. Just being together without having to interact all the time
23/10/2023, 22:48 - Cat: It'd just.... we only just got back together and there is so much to catch up on
23/10/2023, 22:49 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know ❤️. We'll get there. I can't wait to spend more time with you
23/10/2023, 22:49 - Cat: I'm tired of analysing for today so just want to use my vibratory and sleep tbh
23/10/2023, 22:50 - Cat: Got off the phone quick because I know u needed to go and there was nothing else to say
23/10/2023, 22:50 - Cat: It's an autistic thing, I do it with everyone
23/10/2023, 22:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ok it's my BPD then lol, thought you seemed pissed off at me. From now on I'll try to always ask or I do my own head in over it
23/10/2023, 23:06 - Cat: No no u re right
23/10/2023, 23:09 - Cat: Lee brought this to my attention many times that I have terrible telephone manners, but I do have something on my heart. We can discuss it tomorrow night. Good night Mr. Williams
23/10/2023, 23:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: You are pissed off? or? 
Sorry, can you say it by text, i can still message ❤️
23/10/2023, 23:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll look forward to a video call tomorrow then. Sweet dreams beautiful ❤️ x
24/10/2023, 07:02 - Cat: Just woke up, sooo sleepy
24/10/2023, 07:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: Mornin' 😊, hope you have a great day Catherine 😘.
Let me know what's on you're heart ❤️
24/10/2023, 07:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: Me too
24/10/2023, 07:03 - Cat: Later 😘
24/10/2023, 07:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: You ok?
24/10/2023, 07:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: Nothing bad?
24/10/2023, 07:03 - Cat: I ve been waking up tired since they changed the clock
24/10/2023, 07:03 - 1 Fabian Williams: When did the clock change?
24/10/2023, 07:04 - Cat: Did it not? I mean since it's dark when I wake up
24/10/2023, 07:04 - Cat: Whenever winter began
24/10/2023, 07:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ah right, I don't know you know
24/10/2023, 07:04 - 1 Fabian Williams: 29th is changes lol
24/10/2023, 07:06 - Cat: OK so then it will maybe get a bit better
24/10/2023, 07:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: It still ends up really dark when I get up to when I get home lol
24/10/2023, 07:08 - Cat: It used to not bother me when we were together
24/10/2023, 07:09 - Cat: Gotta go make coffee. Speak tonight 😘
24/10/2023, 07:15 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know what you mean, though on nights it never really bothered me as it was always Dark anyway lol.

First day of thermals today 😔. And so it begins ❄️
24/10/2023, 07:15 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 07:15 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 07:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Doesn't matter how much light there is as long as there's just enough to bask in your glory 😉
24/10/2023, 07:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: Was looking at therapists last night but you can't really tell if they're any good for autism / BPD relationships from what I can see on this site https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk 🤷
24/10/2023, 07:36 - 1 Fabian Williams: The DBT is a big thing I need
24/10/2023, 07:41 - Cat: Yes agree. Its the only type of therapy that has shown improvement of bpd
24/10/2023, 07:47 - Cat: https://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-relationships-cycle
24/10/2023, 08:41 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 08:43 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 08:44 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 08:45 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 08:45 - Cat: You deleted this message
24/10/2023, 08:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Doing a lot of deleting 😳 you ok?
24/10/2023, 09:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: We should try to say what we're thinking ❤️
24/10/2023, 09:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: Even if the other person might find it uncomfortable
24/10/2023, 09:00 - Cat: I screenshotted it for tonight 😘
24/10/2023, 09:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ok ❤️
24/10/2023, 09:00 - 1 Fabian Williams: I love you 😊
24/10/2023, 09:01 - Cat: Boundaries, so we can both focus on work
24/10/2023, 09:01 - Cat: I know u re addicted to me. I'm addicted to u too
24/10/2023, 09:01 - 1 Fabian Williams: 😁. I love so much, can't help it
24/10/2023, 09:01 - Cat: We always want to know that the other is alrighr
24/10/2023, 09:01 - 1 Fabian Williams: Exactly this, and if I don't know it makes me anxious
24/10/2023, 09:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'll try to always tell you if something is making me anxious, even if it's silly, just please try not to judge me too much ❤️
24/10/2023, 09:02 - 1 Fabian Williams: But yeah, boundaries. have a great day. ❤️
24/10/2023, 10:59 - 1 Fabian Williams: "During this stage, your partner may fixate on thoughts that you’re going to leave, but they may hide these away, maintaining a façade that everything is OK."

I do that.
24/10/2023, 11:05 - Cat: Yes, and then u convince yourself that I'm all bad, because u can't bear the thought of being abandoned, so you want to do it on ur terms. Which is tragic, because I'm probably one of very few people in this entire world who won't abandon u. Because I love you so much, yes, but also because I'm autistic and can't handle change. So u really hit the jackpot with me and u fail to see it
24/10/2023, 11:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: I dunno if I completely fail 😛
24/10/2023, 11:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Call dentist
24/10/2023, 11:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: 01782 848708
24/10/2023, 11:46 - Cat: They don't have till end of December. I said I'll try to find sooner elsewhere and ring back if not. So still not sorted....
24/10/2023, 11:47 - Cat: Please can u come with me to get signed up at gp as well?
24/10/2023, 11:47 - Cat: I already made an appointment once wirh dentist in cjbfleton and then didn't go. Now I'm shy to call them again
24/10/2023, 11:56 - Cat: So I'm procrastinating again with the dentist. Kinda wanna go to Portugal and do it there as much cheaper. But don't know when to go and how, now with dog it's gonna be a pain
24/10/2023, 11:56 - Cat: Ahhh decision paralysis
24/10/2023, 11:57 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah course, when they open till?
24/10/2023, 11:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: Just do it 😘. explain you're reclusive ❤️
24/10/2023, 12:13 - 1 Fabian Williams: We could walk into the dentist in Congleton? If it's open past half 4
24/10/2023, 13:06 - Cat: I ve booked it, 110 quid for an emergency consultation plus treatment as needed. Still haven't paid. I'm procrastinating because it's still not super bad
24/10/2023, 13:07 - Cat: I have another thing that didn't get done for 4 months cuz I struggle doing it alone
24/10/2023, 13:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: It'll get worse. When's your appointment?
24/10/2023, 13:07 - Cat: Can u be there when I get someone out to quote for bathroom.
24/10/2023, 13:07 - Cat: ?
24/10/2023, 13:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: Depends when they come
24/10/2023, 13:08 - Cat: Made a new enquiry on checkateade, someone replied but now I m scared it's a scammer and reluctant to share my address
24/10/2023, 13:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: They got reviews?
24/10/2023, 13:08 - Cat: They can come when u here. When u coming back?
24/10/2023, 13:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: We'll when my test is sorted I was going to start staying a couple of nights a week I thought? so on any of those nights I can probs be back for 4.30pm -5pm. Sometimes finish early on a Friday.
I have 7 days of holiday left I believe.
24/10/2023, 13:31 - Cat: 3 nights we said
24/10/2023, 13:31 - Cat: I'm still debating which days are best
24/10/2023, 13:32 - Cat: Keep the holidays, we might need them for another engagement weekend 🥰
24/10/2023, 13:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: Need use them before Christmas
24/10/2023, 13:32 - Cat: K, I will try to get the plumber to come at 5pm some weekday and let u know
24/10/2023, 13:32 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sound 👌
24/10/2023, 13:33 - Cat: Honestly...  if u need to use them. Just take them soon-ish so we can talk things out properly and try living together again for a short period before committing to more
24/10/2023, 13:33 - 1 Fabian Williams: 2 in week, and Saturday as standard right?
24/10/2023, 13:33 - Cat: That way of things don't work out nobody at work needs to know
24/10/2023, 13:34 - 1 Fabian Williams: It's not about that 🤷. But I see where you're coming from
24/10/2023, 14:10 - 1 Fabian Williams: Set up saving standing order for ring. 50 a week.
24/10/2023, 14:13 - Cat: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I can't just go back to dating  like it's a new relationship. You are my first real relationship. I know you and you know me. We already did so much together have seen and supported each other at our worst, I just want to reconcile, not start over. I want to be your fiance not yr girlfriend. I want to be your wife, not ur ex. I know none of this makes kmuch sense but ti's how I feel. I know its not possible to go back and I don't know how I feel about it
24/10/2023, 14:14 - Cat: I kinda really wanna see u
24/10/2023, 14:15 - Cat: Can we meet tonight and agree not to have sex?
24/10/2023, 14:15 - Cat: U have to be in charge, I'm a nympho
24/10/2023, 14:17 - 1 Fabian Williams: One sec. On phone to doctor
24/10/2023, 14:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Fuck. I'm not registered with a doctor
24/10/2023, 14:19 - 1 Fabian Williams: Got dentist tomorrow so will call in before they close at 1pm to get a form
24/10/2023, 14:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: I really wanna see you too ❤️. We will end up making love though 🤷😂. After so long apart it's kind of unavoidable and I have almost zero restraint around you ❤️
24/10/2023, 14:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: We aren't starting over, we are reconciling ❤️ and learning what we each need to do to be with who we love. You aren't my ex. I am with you Catherine if that's where you want us to stand.
We still need to ease back into it regarding time spent together so the toxic bpd cycle doesn't kick in, and that's my fault and I'm sorry 😔.
24/10/2023, 14:51 - 1 Fabian Williams: Love you ❤️
24/10/2023, 15:25 - Cat: I will be firm about the sex if you wanna call round
24/10/2023, 15:25 - Cat: Need that test first
24/10/2023, 15:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: To stay the night or leave after?
24/10/2023, 15:26 - 1 Fabian Williams: I know 👍
24/10/2023, 15:32 - Cat: IMG-20231024-WA0003.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 15:33 - Cat: Did u ever blame yourself? It sounds like u blamed me for 4 months 😕
24/10/2023, 15:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: For all sorts of things. I blamed you for a lot though.
24/10/2023, 16:08 - Cat: Did u tell anyone that u felt bad? Before I contacted u? No judgement,  In just trying to work out how to fix the damage so we can actually get married without ur friends ruining it with narcissist theories
24/10/2023, 16:14 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah, but not as much as I should have looking back.
A lot of things I remember that you did that seemed petty / mean at the time are more explainable now though.
24/10/2023, 16:17 - 1 Fabian Williams: I need to know more about the reasoning behind the ASD and NPD symptoms. Watching two videos doesn't make me any kind of expert. I need to be able to explain the differences on the fly. And well.
24/10/2023, 16:20 - 1 Fabian Williams: I'm home now, you still want to video call at some point? I'd love to see your face
24/10/2023, 16:20 - Cat: I'd love to see u
24/10/2023, 16:20 - Cat: I'm not in a horney mood (yet anyways)
24/10/2023, 16:21 - Cat: But I'd love to sit with u and discuss some things like selling house, job, etc. I suffer severe decision paralysis
24/10/2023, 16:21 - Cat: It helps me so much to run my thoughts past u to organise rhem and make plans
24/10/2023, 16:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: When you working till? How's it going?
24/10/2023, 16:22 - Cat: I'm done for today
24/10/2023, 16:22 - Cat: U can comr
24/10/2023, 16:22 - 1 Fabian Williams: Missed voice call
24/10/2023, 16:46 - Cat: Bad connection
24/10/2023, 16:46 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0007.jpg (file attached)
That was the last thing I saw haha
24/10/2023, 16:47 - Cat: Come over
24/10/2023, 16:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: Ok. Will shower then set off at 6pm again.
24/10/2023, 16:47 - 1 Fabian Williams: Will bring clothes smoke and a ready meal.
24/10/2023, 16:48 - 1 Fabian Williams: And a toothbrush. Can I keep it in your room though somewhere stashed away?
24/10/2023, 16:48 - Cat: Yes of course
24/10/2023, 16:49 - Cat: Or wait
24/10/2023, 16:49 - Cat: Better don't coms
24/10/2023, 16:49 - Cat: U re right
24/10/2023, 16:49 - Cat: Ther is no way we re not gonna have sex
24/10/2023, 16:52 - 1 Fabian Williams: Was just getting in gear then haha. 
Ok 🤷. Lol. Good signal again?
24/10/2023, 16:53 - Cat: Yes
24/10/2023, 16:53 - Cat: Back inside
24/10/2023, 16:54 - Cat: Gotta pee can I call u in 10?
24/10/2023, 16:56 - 1 Fabian Williams: Yeah no worries
24/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: Not pooping
24/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: Mysti came down wirh pretzel
24/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: Now I will go pww
24/10/2023, 17:04 - Cat: Pee
24/10/2023, 17:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: Sound
24/10/2023, 17:07 - Cat: K I'm back but I'm eating another pretzel
24/10/2023, 17:38 - 1 Fabian Williams: What's your post code please? Need it for past addresses
24/10/2023, 17:42 - Cat: Cw12 4bg
24/10/2023, 17:43 - 1 Fabian Williams: 39?
24/10/2023, 17:43 - Cat: Thank u for getting dbs
24/10/2023, 17:43 - Cat: Yes
24/10/2023, 17:54 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0009.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 17:54 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0010.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 17:55 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0011.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 17:55 - Cat: ❤️
24/10/2023, 17:55 - Cat: Thank you
24/10/2023, 17:56 - Cat: I could just play it safe u know
24/10/2023, 17:56 - Cat: And not talk to u again
24/10/2023, 17:56 - Cat: But I love you so insanely much
24/10/2023, 17:57 - Cat: I want to believe that u are emotionally unstable because of a mental health condition that is not ur fault. And I know loving someone with that condition is hard. I like solving problems. And I love ur fucked up mind.
24/10/2023, 17:57 - Cat: I just need to make sure u re not glaslighting me
24/10/2023, 17:58 - 1 Fabian Williams: It is, I'm finding this a bit upsetting but I'm trying.
24/10/2023, 17:58 - Cat: Everything else I xan forgive
24/10/2023, 18:01 - Cat: Lol, I keep writing wanna come over
24/10/2023, 18:01 - Cat: I want it so badly, but I'm scared
24/10/2023, 18:01 - Cat: Them I delete it
24/10/2023, 18:03 - Cat: Wanna come over?
24/10/2023, 18:06 - Cat: ...
24/10/2023, 18:06 - 1 Fabian Williams: DBS aside, and I could move to Portugal. It wouldn't be until we had a few years of not arguing like we did before under our belt. 
If shit ended up like that over there we'd both be fucked. Me more so.
Also if a crime you've done here isn't a crime in Portugal I don't know if the knife thing counts, so that caution might not matter anyway. But when you look at it in line with the others. It'll still look really really really bad.
I still have all the stuff and forms from attempting to move there. 
You have to complete earn my trust back too before I would consider it. 
For now if you want us to be together it'll have to be in the UK sorry. Maybe once kids have grown up and I've saved a bit of money.
24/10/2023, 18:07 - Cat: That's kinda the plan anywahs
24/10/2023, 18:07 - Cat: Unless there is a war
24/10/2023, 18:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0012.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 18:07 - Cat: In which case who gives a guck about visa there will be refugees everywhere
24/10/2023, 18:07 - 1 Fabian Williams: IMG-20231024-WA0013.jpg (file attached)
24/10/2023, 18:08 - 1 Fabian Williams: A caution for a knife is the least of my worries.